How to Be Rich and Happy – values and worrying
This last week I took my life in my hands and ordered a life change. It was half price on the internet. Seriously.
How to be Rich and Happy by Tim Brownson and John P. Strelecky. It comes with a money back guarantee too.
Now I have had a crack at self help books before, and for the most part I’ve ended up discarding them. But this one I have decided to commit to. I’m taking it slowly and working through the exercises.
So far I’m only a quarter of the way through or so but I’m already learning stuff. I figured out what my values are (I really like happiness and creativity it turns out, who knew?) and the ‘anti-values’ that I should avoid the most (conflict and anger). That was fun. Although I feel weirdly secretive and protective of those lists. I don’t want Lee to see them for some reason.
Yesterday I outsourced my worrying. Seriously, Tim did all my worrying for me. I know it sounds kind of silly but it really worked. On twitter I’d let Tim know any time I started worrying about something, then he’d let me know that he had the worrying under control and I could relax. It was amazing. I would be sitting there and something worrisome (usually something I’d already told Tim about) would spring to mind and I told myself “It’s OK, Tim’s doing my worrying for me today” and I’d get this amazing feeling of light and happiness.
I had a holiday from worrying, essentially. And worrying is something that I am really good at. I initially learned it from my Mum and I have nurtured the habit well.
I had this huge grin all through work because I didn’t have to worry about things. I also learned that the things that I am worrying myself about are either things I can’t control, or things that are inconsequential. I had nebulous, vague worries like ‘my digestive system’ or specific little niggling worries like when my Trade Me package was going to be delivered. Passing them on was a relief.
I also noticed a tendency I didn’t know I had to start worrying on behalf of people, like the callers at work who have problems with some trade, I would start feeling bad and then remind myself not to worry and then I would be able to focus instead on how to resolve the call.
It’s a little harder with the bigger stuff, like if I started thinking about whether I’m doing enough to support my mother in law through her stuff at the moment, or if a friend of mine is having some trouble. I would feel myself beginning the worrying but then I told myself that it wasn’t going to help. If I want to support someone I love I have to do it with actions and you know, actual help, not with worrying.
I think I’m going to keep telling myself that someone else is handling my worrying. I like this big smile and I want to keep it. I should also add that I slept really well last night too.
Oh and just for additional linkage, here’s a good article on how to make lasting changes in your life, from Zen Habits…Go Slowly
antidotes to Monday
Boundin’, the cute musical, dancing Pixar short that precedes The Incredibles. Such a cute and simple message and I always find it uplifting.
Take a long hot bath.
Read one of those books that you can read over and over again because they’re so good. Mine are things like Ender’s Game, Necklace of Kisses, Alanna the first adventure, A Little Princess, Fruits Basket or Harry Potter.
And you should definitely read this article from Rock Your Day this is your chance.
Antidotes to Monday
Coming into Wellington we wheeled over Makara, the sun was just going down
Breathe deeply. I keep forgetting to do this when I get stressed and then my body gets stressed because it’s not getting enough air. I can’t believe I still forget to breathe.
Start something new that you really want to do but keep putting off because you’ve got other things you should be doing. Last night I started two (count ‘em two!) new ink and water colour pictures. Today I started a new quilt. The quilt is for me. I can’t remember the last time I made patchwork for myself. It must have been my jeans quilt.
Lie down on the floor (or bed), turn your palms to the ceiling and let your spine sink into the floor. Let your shoulder blades fall down. Let gravity straighten you out a little. Breathing is good for doing this too.
Watch a this flipbook music video. It’s neat.
Turn off the TV or DVD or whatever you’re watching and do something else. Read or craft or run around. Listen to music and dance.
Antidotes to Monday
Little things you can do to make your day a little bit better.
Change the sheets on your bed. Nothing like slipping into hotel-style clean bedclothes. (I can also recommend getting a new duvet, but that might be a bit extravagant.)
Finish something. Even if it’s just doing the dishes, vacuuming a single room or reading the rest of your book. You get a little sense of accomplishment no matter what it is.
Watch some silly little videos on youtube. Such as the Jenni’s Angels filmography or check out some cute animals on cutebreak, the genius that brought us slow loris. Or these compiled songs from Animaniacs.
Do something you hadn’t planned on doing. Instead of eating the leftovers/toasted sandwich or other boring food at home, go out for dinner. Instead of staying in and watching boring TV, go out to a movie or visit a friend.
Give yourself permission to go to bed very early and read a good book. I’m really enjoying Dracula right now.
Antidotes to Monday
This video of a slow loris enjoying a rub.
A long hot bath with ’sunshine’ lush bubble bar.
Put on your comfiest clothes, even if they aren’t attractive at all.
Reading something cute and silly and fun. (I recommend Allie Finkle’s Rules for Girls vol 3: Best Friends and Drama Queens, especially for reliving childhood dramas).
Takeaway food for dinner.
Snuggles with someone warm.
Cupcakes, chocolate, cookies or any other comfort food.
Feeling sorry for yourself for a bit and then relaxing into calm happiness.
Sleep easy
I haven’t been sleeping well lately, I’ve been waking up at odd hours, some times able to get back to sleep and sometimes not so much. Then I get hella sleepy during the day, want to crash out on my desk at 2pm at work.
Following conversations with a few workmates who were having similar problems I began to suspect this was all of a sudden a common problem. I suspect it’s an alien invasion plan. The aliens are here, right, and they’re going to interrupt our sleep and make us all really cranky. Once we’re all cranky enough they hope that we’ll attack each other. Then they can take over the world.
I wasn’t too sure how to defend against this, but then my workmate said that he’d tried a herbal sleep aid Healtheries easy sleep and that it had worked for him. We were talking about it a day later and another workmate mentioned she’d taken it and had the best sleep in ages. I tootled along to the supermarket and bought myself a bottle of them. The checkout operator asked me if it worked, because she hasn’t been sleeping well lately either. Alien invasion theory isn’t sounding so crazy now is it?
So on Friday night I tried it for the first time, just one pill. The effect I noticed once I had given it an hour to kick in was that it made my head really heavy. You know that stage of sleep where you feel like you’re sinking into the pillow? It recreated that for me. This makes it really easy to fall asleep.
Then I woke up after an hour or so to pee, because I’d drunk a lot of water to swallow the pill, because it is a big pill. Walking was a bit difficult, I wove around a bit. I had a good night’s sleep but I did keep waking up at random hours, like I have been lately. On Saturday morning I managed to sleep in past my alarm time and get out of bed feeling relatively onto it.
On Saturday night I had a lot of champagne at Morgue and Cal’s civil union, and when we got home around 11.30 I took two sleep pills to see if I could stop waking at random hours. Well, I can tell you that these pills definitely have an effect, two pills was way too much for me. I still woke up at random times, but I managed a very long sleep in. Basically it was very difficult to wake up. I managed to stumble into the lounge and onto the couch where Lee and I watched some Season Three Supernatural. I was very sleepy. I wanted to close my eyes all morning and go back to sleep.
After midday we opened up the curtains and decided to enjoy the sunshine. The Lovely Sokky managed to meet up with us in Waitangi Park and some good lounging and catching up was had. On Lee and my return home I tried to do some copyediting and fell asleep for about an hour.
I woke up from that nap feeling awesome, and made it through The Winding City rehearsal with nary a yawn. Last night I went back to a single pill and I think that’s the way to go for me.
Once awesome side effect of these herbs is vivid and memorable dreams. On Friday I dreamed that my hair had grown out enough that I could make braids. Giffy was very pleased for me. Last night I dreamed about my new Buffy game character and some intriguing drama I could work in regarding his parents. Good times.
Point of Fashion: Kapcon 18
Current Obsession: New Buffy game! Woop woop!
bride again then Hard Candy
I said yesterday that The Bride Stripped Bare is told in first person. That was a big lie. It’s actually told in second person, which is pretty unusual and you’d think I would have remembered.
So, this is one of the things that makes the book very personal. All the things described are about you….kinda. I finished it this morning, and it is indeed a wonderful book.
It’s still recommended.
My ongoing belly issues have dulled down to a steady and faint ache, and for several hours last night I felt fine. Which was such a welcome surprise I couldn’t stop smiling. Let’s hope the dull ache is hunger, hey?
I watched Hard Candy and I both liked it and hated it. I am now going to talk about it in a spoilerific way, so if you don’t know what happens in this movie and don’t want to know, please stop reading now.
It was very well made, well acted and written. However it was also gratuitous and horrible and just too much. I kept thinking ‘if the genders were reversed and it was a man torturing a woman and castrating her this movie would never have been made’ but then I think that woman are still being castrated in real life in Middle Eastern countries for less pertinent reasons than Hailey has for doing such to Jeff.
That women are constantly being tortured, killed and raped in movies by men for less motivation.
That in some ways this is an important movie simply because it gives a 14 year old girl the power to completely destroy a man. I don’t approve of what she did in any sense, and I think the movie perhaps didn’t need to go that far, but then mutilation of women in horror and splatter films and on TV (hello Special Victims Unit?) is so very prevalent that it’s kind of justified.
So. In summary. Upsetting, interesting psychologically the same way I was drawn to One Hour Photo, Woodsman, Memento and The Machinist although very different from all those films, just as they are different to each other. I don’t know if I can recommend this film though. It’s a bit too much.
spoilers over.
PoF: muscle singlet
CO: will my belly be good to me?
hum
I seem to have mastered the control of my belly issues, through deep breathing and conscious relaxation. The flip side is that I am now definitely keeping all my tension in my right shoulder, where it meets the neck.
Has anyone got any ideas of how I can stop manifesting my psychological state in a physical form?
Ow.
Commonsense Organics
Today I decided my need for homebaked goods outweighed the need to save money. Hence, I took myself forth to Commonsense Organics.
Man, it’s expensive there! I guess they’re still kinda boutique-y and they’re pretty popular, so they can charge what they like, but I kept seeing things that looked good and then not picking them up because of the price.
What I did buy: Dagoba brand organic chocolate from Oregon. It’s cherry flavoured, extremely dark chocolate. If I’d noticed the 72% Cocao content on the label I might have left it be. It’s good, but very very rich. It cost $5 for a 56.7g bar. Not too bad for designer chocolate.
Wanaka Chocolate organic orange. Haven’t tried it yet. $3.30 for a 46g ‘thick’n'chunky’ type bar.
Gluten Free plain baking flour. It’s made by a company called Orgran, and is a blend of maize starch, tapioca flour, rice flour and vegetable gums. Sounds good doesn’t it? Well, I baked cookies with it today and they taste awesome. Which is to say, it tastes the same as wheat flour in those cookies.
$7.70 for 500g, so pretty expensive. You could get a different brand’s blend in a 1kg pack for a little under $20, so this one is the cheaper of the options, and they had lots of different ‘themed’ flours – pizza dough flour, for example and ‘just add milk and butter’ pancake mix and suchlike.
Still, if it means I can eat homebaking, I’ll be paying what they charge. They have the market monopoly right now (as far as I know…) and I do like me some cookies. Hopefully the more people shop there the lower they can make their prices.
PoF: BIG F little f, what begins with f?
CO: days off rawk
Weekend
Friday a bunch of us went to the Summer Shakespeare, which this year was As You Like It which I saw as a Summer Shakespeare ten years ago, and a few years ago at Downstage set in Colonial New Zealand. I also played Corin, the shepherd in an extract for the Sheila Winn competition way back in fifth form.
So. I’m a bit familiar with the play, although I haven’t studied it in depth.
This version was set in modern times, with ninjas and pro-wrestlers. It was pretty neat. The girl playing Rosalind was very good as was Celia. Orlando was cool, although a bit buffoonish and very eager to be gay with “Ganymede”, which I found rather amusing.
My friend Nick was in the chorus and had a minor speaking role, of the guy who Audrey was supposed to marry before she met Touchstone. He was very good, and I was much impressed with his singing voice, which I have only heard before in singstar context, which isn’t really indicative. I also thought he looked the most like a commando in those crazy people-living-in-the-woods scenes.
Friday was the only night last week when it rained. It rained right on the play, and was getting pretty heavy by the time the interval came. The director came out and said they’d see what happened over the twenty minute break and if it kept raining they’d cancel the second act and we could come back another night.
I was pretty happy to stay since I had worn warm socks, three layers on top plus my big coat with the thick hood and hadn’t really got wet at all. Plus Lee and I had two blankets to share, so we stayed for the second half. Some of our group didn’t stay and I couldn’t blame them, but I just couldn’t see myself getting organised to come back another night either.
The second half was pretty much dry, right up until the final scenes, in which it got steadily worse. The curtain calls went quickly and then everyone ran for their cars. Lee and I had just got to our car when it really let loose and bucketed down.
For dinner I had a half-mini baguette stuffed with chicken and another roll as well, then a little cake. The next day for lunch we had more of the rolls covered in melted cheese. These gluten-tastic food choices were soon regretted by myself.
On Saturday we went to Rachel and Alan’s housewarming which I had fun at, but Lee mostly sat in the corner trying not to fall asleep. We left about 6.30 and did our grocery shopping and then came home and watched Remember the Titans. Which I hadn’t seen in some years.
I had a grumbly and achey belly by this time and spent a lot of time complaining.
Sunday morning I felt even worse and wasn’t sure I’d make it to Yum Char for Muggle’s birthday. However, once I’d had a shower I felt a bit more human and even though my head was doing a serious space-out thing I managed to sit through Yum Char, talk to people and have fun. I didn’t move from my seat at all, because I wasn’t sure about not passing out if I did.
I had a lot of fun though, with all the different people at our table. Something about the size of those round tables is very conducive to all sorts of simultaneous conversations. I laughed a lot, and managed to actually talk to Nick which was nice.
I got Lee to drop me home after while he went to do some perk jobs. I went pretty much straight to sleep and woke up feeling a bit better. I didn’t feel awesome, but less head spacey than before. Later Sass and Rachel dropped by briefly and I had to be coherent, which I think I managed. After that Lee took me out into the sunshine and I nearly fell asleep again so we came back and I had another nap before dinner.
Today I am still unwell. My belly is aching and I’m having the opposite problem to usual. I haven’t really tried to do anything today, so I’m not sure if my head’s still nutso.
I’ve read these books: Forever in Blue the final Travelling Pants book, which was very good. I love Bee.
1001 Nights of Snowfall which is a Fables title, and excellent. I love a lot of the artists used in this collection, so that made it even more enjoyable.
Little House in Boston Bay by Melissa Wiley. It’s a Little House book about Charlotte Tucker, who is Laura Ingalls’ Grandmother. Or will be. I quite liked it actually. They managed to keep the same tone that Laura used.
Y the Last Man: Unmanned by Brian K Vaughan. Set in 2002, this graphic novel is about a plague that kills every mammalian carrier of the Y chromosome on the planet, except for one guy and his monkey. It is awesome and I already have the next two on order from the library. Steve actually told me to read this about a year ago, well Steve, I finally managed it!
Next up: Seven Soldiers of Victory a DC ensemble title by Grant Morrison.
PoF: nightie
CO: stupid belly, reckless Jenni eating gluten.
