I want to stop doing anything.
I don’t want to work anymore (“This is a song we have heard from you more than once.” Guess the movie quote!)
I don’t want to go out when I’m expected to.
I don’t want to get up in the morning.
I don’t want to be home when people come over.
I want to stop doing stuff and sit at home and collect myself together and figure out what I do in fact want to do.
I applied for a job the other week that I really wanted. I started imagining how cool it would be if I got it, and how much fun it would be. Plus better pay and less hours.
I haven’t heard back from it, and it’s very cold in the mornings and I want to sleep and sleep and sleep.
I feel like I hardly see Lee. He plays sport on the nights I don’t have roleplaying. It doesn’t work well at all. Then our weekends get filled up with junk (which is fun junk that I enjoy but I’d also like nothing days.)
My fingers are cold. I am sleepy. I want out.


6 thoughts on “stop

  1. I’ll second large chunks of this sentiment. Debbie and I went about 2 years wanting a weekend off. Just a couple of uninterrupted days when we could chill out, do nothing, and be at peace. There probably were weekends in there where we did next to nothing, but it just doesn’t quite cut it. Even having to do laundry or go shopping can be too much sometimes.
    Our salvation? Strangely, it was moving to Japan. We were miserable as all hell, but after a few months of chores and pain-in-the-ass finding our way around, we settled into a routine of doing pretty much nothing outside work. We missed our friends, and our families, but there was something wonderfully simple about our life in Japan. I don’t want to go back to that, and I’d never trade seeing friends and family and living in kiwiland and being busy for that level of isolation permanently, but that one aspect of living in Japan was quite nice. Of course, we missed home when we weren’t here.
    Only having 2 days a week when we started before 1pm was also pretty cool. Sleeping in every day except the weekend was nice. Even on early days, we never had to get up before 8am.
    Kiwi life is way better, but I know exactly where you’re coming from 🙂

  2. *hugs the Jenni*
    And – Sleepy Hollow? I’ve only seen it three times, so I think it is, but… 😉

  3. Yay! It is Sleepy Hollow!
    Right, I’m going to move to Japan.

  4. I totally understand the wanting out thing. My worst time was when I worked for NZBS and Beau was living in Dunedin, so I hardly got to see him and my work was driving me crazy. Then!!! Svend went and broke his leg! I was really horrible for a while then, ’cause I would get home from deadening work, and he’d be sitting there with his leg up and ask me to fetch him something, then I’d go into the kitchen and I’d inevitably find an empty pot of tea. He couldn’t stand up long enough to do dishes. It was too much weight on his leg. I realise it was a pretty horrible time for Svend then too, but I’d get really wound up about things like that. Probably lucky that we’re still friends considering. Thing that probably saved me at the time was Svend paying my baby sis to come and clean in our house for 3 hours a week. Might seem trivial, but it made a huge difference to me.

  5. we’ll all just have to wait til we’re 50 and have been working 30 yrs and can afford to only do 4 day weeks AND have the pull to demand it to *sigh* my one reason for wanting to be old! or babies.. i hear u get to stay home if there’s babies?? ..i’d make the most selfish mother!! *l*

  6. I had an wicked job interview today too (This explains the weird news reports of a Troll wandering round town ia suit and tie). I hope you get the one you’re after. My chances look really good. New jobs are the greatest.

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