I’m feeling uncharacteristically shy and uncertain about the Swing dance ball tonight. It’s been interesting to me to recognise my reluctance to stand out in this situation. usually I love the idea of dressing up and being flamboyant, but in this case I’m not brave enough. There are a few reasons I can immediately put my finger on:
->I’m new to the crowd, I don’t know that many people, and although the ones I have met are all lovely I am worried that they will somehow be mean. This is a ridiculous worry, so I shall ignore it.
->My dress/hair/makeup/shoes will be wrong. Normally I wouldn’t worry about this *at all*, but I am trying to recreate a vintage look. I am trying to look like someone from 60-70 years ago, and I don’t have a very clear visual in my head of what I should be trying to achieve. Unfortunately Charm School kind of just emphasised all the ways I’m doing it ‘wrong’. Again this is a pretty silly thing to be worried about. I can’t afford to buy actual vintage clothing, so I will have to do my best with modern aproximations. I will do my best and look awesome anyway.
->I can’t dance well enough. This is mostly a knowledge thing, I know I can do what I’ve learned so far well enough but I’ve only been dancing for a few months, so I haven’t really learned that much. This is alright because I don’t have to know too much anyway, the lead does the hard work, I just have to follow.
So yeah, maybe if I knew a few more people going I wouldn’t worry at all, but here I am feeling shy, which is new and different to me and almost dreading the ball I’ve been looking forward to.
I am going to tap on this a bit and then I’m going to concentrate on writing instead. Worrying after all, will get me exactly nowhere.
Charm School was pretty fun, but I would have got more out of it if my hair was longer. We learnt pin curls, victory rolls, sweeps and rolls and listened to a talk about fashion. I bought some setting spray and some cuban heel pantyhose. Man I wish I had long hair again.
CO: not reading the pre-release draft of Midnight Sun Stephenie Meyer has put on her website. It’s so bad it’s good.