More roleplaying quotes from our *gasp* campaign….
My emo teen Sam escapes to the real world to road trip with his/her friends, there are royal intrigues for Alfredo, Elvis impersonations for Addie and Isaac manages to have no scenes at all. The Other One continues his difficult path to rightness.
Alfredo: An off worlder has been selected for the bridal party. You see the problem, they won’t know the etiquette or our rituals.
Vizier: Ah I see. So you want me to dispatch this person.
At the knighting ceremony for Addie….
Ms Generic *squeezes Enrico’s butt*
Enrico: you’re an orc aren’t you?
Enrico: Hmmm. Smelly.
Gen (seductive): Do you like it?
Elric and I invented the Noble Guild of the Practicioners of Greensleeves (NoGPraG) who try to get Greensleeves played whenever it is thematically appropriate and the Old and Illustrious Order of Greensleeves Assassins (OIOGA) who kill them off.
Evil plant: I eat table now?
Addie: This is my squire. He’ll be coming to work in the office with me from now on.
Customer on phone: I need a summary of my account activities.
Squire, the evil plant: Bleaurgh! I brought up all my recent activity.
meanwhile in the real world, turns out Sam’s gender swapping is slightly catching as his room mate AJ turns into a girl…
AJ: I don’t have a penis!
AJ: But! I don’t have a penis!
Sam: Girls don’t.
AJ: I have breasts! (gropes self)
Brett: That is hot.
AJ: Brett can’t be in the room while I’m a girl!
Brett: No, I really can’t. (leaves)
At the castle library, the librarians have been given computer catalogues…
Librarian to Alfredo: We’re here to help. We get executed if we don’t.
Alfredo: try ctrl alt delete.
Librarian 1: what’s happening here?
Librarian 2: I think he’s having a bit of a rest.
Sam’s Mum and The Other One make friends.
Sandra: Sam is gone, we don’t know where…*cries*
The Other One: Oh. I would pat you but you’d die.
Next episode, Sam comes back to the fantasy world with his friends and a van packed full of supplies. They are immediately captured by the criminal element and then all of them are caught by palace guards in a raid.
Sam wakes up naked but for boxers (in boy form) chained to a wall.: I really hope the weather doesn’t change.
Delores returns to find the Omnicron office in a chaotic state: Addie. Addie, Addie, Addie, Addie.
Addie: I see you’ve mastered the pronunciation of my name.
Back at the dungeon…Random prisoner: Can we get on with the executions?
Sam: Can we not?
Sam is taken by the Vizier to participate in a wedding rehearsal, Sam’s friends are liberated by Isaac and the Earth embassy. They will stay there until the situation is resolved.
Isaac: I will leave everything I don’t care about in your capable hands.
Gerald: Great, something new and different for me.
Brett: I can bunk with AJ!
Sam has a dream sequence where he is in his parent’s bedroom searching for clues. Opens closet, Isaac is in there.
Isaac: I don’t appreciate the symbology of this.
Sam: Heh. Heh. Come out of the closet.
Isaac: You could have put me under the bed or something.
Sam: But you’re not. You’re in the closet.