Darius heads into school with Calvin and Megan as entourage. He is greeted by his personal assistant/body guard/awesome guy Brett McAndrews (played by Adam Baldwin) (Or guest star Fraser, depending on how you look at it). He has a cup of tea ready and waiting for Darius. Brett, has of course, been working for Darius for some time. Back when Darius first posited that Global Warming was a problem – Brett was there. He gives the morning’s messages to Darius.
Brett: Bono sends apologies, he can’t make it to the Spring Fling. The Governor wants Darius’s view on the latest fiscal reforms (he’s waiting on hold).
Darius: Of course. (turns to camera) This is awesome!
Alex is waiting in home room, preparing Darius’ regular spot. After home room he talks to the Governor, he borrows the principal’s office to have a bit of privacy. He also has a think about solving quantum physics.
Alex has been at school all night, working on Spring Fling stuff with the kids from shop class. She hovers outside the principal’s office waiting for Darius. She tells him that she’s emptied out her college fund so it can go towards a band for the dance. He tells her thank you but they don’t need the money. Darius then prises her for her work on the tables and gives her a peck on the cheek. Brett says good job to Alex but it doesn’t sound quite as sincere.
Megan follows Darius around like a lovesick puppy when she’s not in class. Darius invites them all to a meeting at his house after school, around 5pm. Brett updates Darius on the snerglewurts (spelling? I don’t know, Fraser made it up) nest. Darius says they will need two tanks of liquid helium.
Brett: I’m not sure if we can source 2 tanks of liquid helium –
Darius: Make it happen!
B: Of course, sir.
Calvin shyly asks Darius if he has time to talk alone.
Darius: Yeah, of course. I always have time for my friends.
Calvin: That’s awesome.
D: How about lunch time.
C: Great, thanks!
(cut to lunch time…) Calvin approaches Darius’s private table and is asked to sit down. He is offered tea, which Brett assures him is expensive Rooibos. Calvin nods, but is not so impressed with the expense.
Darius: So, what did you want to talk about.
Calvin: I just wanted to ask your advice. I kind of, haven’t asked Alex to the Spring Fling yet and I think she’s annoyed about it.
Darius: Did you forget? Or did you assume that you’d be going together?
C: Uh. I guess it slipped my mind. Or…I wasn’t going to go? But it’s your big night so of course I should go.
D: Right, well, you might have hurt her feelings. Girls like to be asked.
D: Do you want me to talk to her about it?
C: Would you? I mean, that would be amazing.
D: I’ll think about it.
C: Oh, I wouldn’t want to put you out. I mean, you could just tell me what to say and I’ll do it.
D: Well, what you should do is apologise, tell her you didn’t mean to take her for granted. Ask her properly, maybe give her some flowers. (Other amazing advice follows.)
C: What should I wear when I say it to her?
D: Here’s what I think you should wear: Black silk shirt, black tie, black jacket, black pants, black dress shoes. And white suspenders.
Calvin thanks Darius for his help, gets up and walks straight out of school to go clothes shopping. As he walks out he passes Megan who blanks him, she’s walking into the lunch room.
In the lunch room Tiffany and Aurora are telling Darius how much they like him and how available they are as dates for the spring fling, either separately or together. They are sycophantic, standing and holding pinkies and asking when he is going to decide who to take. He says he’ll do that tonight. Megan busts through the middle of them, breaking their pinky hold. He asks Megan to sit down as the cheerleaders leave.