Darius heads into school with Calvin and Megan as entourage. He is greeted by his personal assistant/body guard/awesome guy Brett McAndrews (played by Adam Baldwin) (Or guest star Fraser, depending on how you look at it). He has a cup of tea ready and waiting for Darius. Brett, has of course, been working for Darius for some time. Back when Darius first posited that Global Warming was a problem – Brett was there. He gives the morning’s messages to Darius.
Brett: Bono sends apologies, he can’t make it to the Spring Fling. The Governor wants Darius’s view on the latest fiscal reforms (he’s waiting on hold).
Darius: Of course. (turns to camera) This is awesome!
Alex is waiting in home room, preparing Darius’ regular spot. After home room he talks to the Governor, he borrows the principal’s office to have a bit of privacy. He also has a think about solving quantum physics.
Alex has been at school all night, working on Spring Fling stuff with the kids from shop class. She hovers outside the principal’s office waiting for Darius. She tells him that she’s emptied out her college fund so it can go towards a band for the dance. He tells her thank you but they don’t need the money. Darius then prises her for her work on the tables and gives her a peck on the cheek. Brett says good job to Alex but it doesn’t sound quite as sincere.
Megan follows Darius around like a lovesick puppy when she’s not in class. Darius invites them all to a meeting at his house after school, around 5pm. Brett updates Darius on the snerglewurts (spelling? I don’t know, Fraser made it up) nest. Darius says they will need two tanks of liquid helium.
Brett: I’m not sure if we can source 2 tanks of liquid helium –
Darius: Make it happen!
B: Of course, sir.
Calvin shyly asks Darius if he has time to talk alone.
Darius: Yeah, of course. I always have time for my friends.
Calvin: That’s awesome.
D: How about lunch time.
C: Great, thanks!
(cut to lunch time…) Calvin approaches Darius’s private table and is asked to sit down. He is offered tea, which Brett assures him is expensive Rooibos. Calvin nods, but is not so impressed with the expense.
Darius: So, what did you want to talk about.
Calvin: I just wanted to ask your advice. I kind of, haven’t asked Alex to the Spring Fling yet and I think she’s annoyed about it.
Darius: Did you forget? Or did you assume that you’d be going together?
C: Uh. I guess it slipped my mind. Or…I wasn’t going to go? But it’s your big night so of course I should go.
D: Right, well, you might have hurt her feelings. Girls like to be asked.
D: Do you want me to talk to her about it?
C: Would you? I mean, that would be amazing.
D: I’ll think about it.
C: Oh, I wouldn’t want to put you out. I mean, you could just tell me what to say and I’ll do it.
D: Well, what you should do is apologise, tell her you didn’t mean to take her for granted. Ask her properly, maybe give her some flowers. (Other amazing advice follows.)
C: What should I wear when I say it to her?
D: Here’s what I think you should wear: Black silk shirt, black tie, black jacket, black pants, black dress shoes. And white suspenders.
Calvin thanks Darius for his help, gets up and walks straight out of school to go clothes shopping. As he walks out he passes Megan who blanks him, she’s walking into the lunch room.
In the lunch room Tiffany and Aurora are telling Darius how much they like him and how available they are as dates for the spring fling, either separately or together. They are sycophantic, standing and holding pinkies and asking when he is going to decide who to take. He says he’ll do that tonight. Megan busts through the middle of them, breaking their pinky hold. He asks Megan to sit down as the cheerleaders leave.
Darius: how are you?
D: It really sucks about your stepdad. So, it sounds like his accounts were emptied out.
D: Weren’t you doing something with a computer?
Megan freaks out about whether or not her programme could have caused it all. Darius comforts her and offers to check out the computer and Jim’s accounts.
Brett makes a call to the police to get a warrant for getting into the banking records.
D: We’ll get to the bottom of this. I hope you’ll still be able to enjoy the spring fling?
M: I will! Who are you going to take?
Darius hedges and repeats that he will decide that night.
Darius finds out that the bank’s reports show they can’t tell where the money went but it was reduced in small amounts. Basically 5c amounts in different world currencies. He doesn’t tell Megan straight away, but says he wants to check out her computer.
Meanwhile, in some expensive clothing store in town, Calvin is purchasing black clothes when he gets a call from his sister.
Martha: You know your account?
Calvin: Uh…I know of it, yes.
M: Have you been buying lots of stuff lately?
C: No? Um. (he thinks) There was a sword place online but it seemed pretty secure. They had paypal.
M: Okay. You didn’t give your account details to anyone?
C: No. What’s this about?
M: One of Dad’s lawyer’s called, it looks like your account’s been emptied.
M: I’ll tell them it wasn’t you.
C: It wasn’t me.
Thankfully Calvin has a copy of his father’s Gold card and can use that to purchase the clothes. He would never have bought them if it wasn’t for Darius’s advice. They even agree to lower the heel on the shoes so that he isn’t quite as tall in them.
Megan waits out the front of school for Darius to finish. A tank of liquid helium has been left by his car. Megan offers to help him with it but he says it might be dangerous, he’ll be fine. He asks if she wants to watch him take care of the spurglewurk nest and she is delighted.
Calvin returns to school, dressed in his new black outfit with white suspenders. He tracks down Alex in the school hall where she is standing still, trying to work out if there is anything that needs doing before the Spring Fling. She looks up when Calvin clears his throat.
Alex: New outfit?
Calvin: Yeah, Darius told me I should wear it.
Alex: I can see that it would look great on him.
Calvin looks a little hurt: Yeah.
Alex: I mean, it looks good on you too.
C: Yeah but it would look better on him.
A:…what did you want?
C: Right well, Darius pointed out…he made me think that I might have been taking you for granted and I’m really sorry and I wanted you to know that I didn’t mean to and I forgot to ask you to the Spring Fling.
A: Oh. Yeah, you should totally come.
C: oh right. (He slouches more than he was anyway.)
A: Yeah, because I’ll be here making sure everything is ready to go and Darius will be here too, so you should come.
Random kid: Aw man, where’s Jesse? This was meant to be finished!
Alex, turning to look at the mural: What? It’s not finished?!
Calvin leaves, unnoticed.
Random kid: Yeah, I haven’t seen Jesse all day.
Darius, Brett and Megan arrive just in time – the snurglewurts are only just hatching. Brett pumps the helium tanks and Darius directs the flow to go onto the ground. From there it flows up the eggs and burns the baby demon thingies. The tragedy averted, the block of houses is safe. Parents bring their children out to gaze on Darius and thank him. He has saved the city from another…gas leak.
Calvin is waiting outside Darius’s house before the meeting, he looks dejected. Alex arrives on her bicycle just as Darius pulls up with Brett and Megan. They go into Darius’s boardroom. Alex, who is sitting next to Calvin, starts stroking his shirt. He looks a bit happier.
Darius: Brett, will you get the documents?
Brett hands out printed, bound mission statements.
Darius: I’d like to recreate the Watcher’s Council.
Darius: There are lots of slayers who need guidance. That Giles guy…(to Brett) have you been able to get in touch with him?
Brett: I am so sorry, sir.
D: Well, some people really don’t want to be found. (He exhales noisily and looks at Calvin, who is in front of him at the table, Calvin looks stricken.)
Darius suggests that people who are there in the room might like to be Watchers in the new order.
Megan: Do you think I could?
D: Why not? You’re smart, capable…(Megan glows from the praise. Darius turns to Calvin) …and you too, Calvin.
Darius then asks for some alone time so he can decide who to take to the Spring Fling. Brett suggests he could tale no one, thereby avoiding showing favouritism and making anyone feel bad. Megan reminds him that he wanted to check out her computer. Alex says she’ll go patrolling, she feels nervous about going without Darius but Calvin offers to accompany her.
Megan, Darius and Brett head to Megan’s. Megan’s mother is drinking but disappears into the bathroom to put on make up when she sees Darius.
Megan turns to Brett: so, my room’s pretty small. You might want to wait down here.
Brett: I’ve seen your room. It’s not that small. (There is a flashback to Darius solving the Mirror World stuff, defeating evil Xavier, etc.)
Megan realises that Darius has gone ahead up to her room and she hasn’t put away her Seasons of Darius calendar or Darius scrapbook.
Brett runs after, fearing danger given Megan’s reaction. He instantly assesses the situation: You left out your Darius scrapbook. (under breath) rookie mistake.
Her computer has a pulsing red light. Darius looks concerned.
Megan: Is that not how it’s supposed to be?
Darius: Probably not.
It turns out the computer has been looking for links, since Megan didn’t tell it any specific account numbers it went for ones connected to her computer in some way. There’s an Ikea store that has gone bust, it’s eaten Calvin’s account dry and Jim’s as well. 5c amounts (in various currencies) from a very small pool. After it ran out of cash it started playing the stock market, causing busts and booms. It’s dabbled in currency speculation as well.
Darius: Megan, this is very clever, but it’s not good.
M: Oh god, it’s gone crazy but it’s all my fault! (Megan is understandably upset at possibly contributing to Jim’s suicide.)
D: I’m sure we can fix it.
M: How will you make Jim alive again?
Meanwhile a St Mary’s cemetery.
Alex: And then Darius showed me this take down move. It was great.
Calvin: You know, Darius let me eat with him today, we had pheasant.
Random Vampire: You know there’s a rumour that The Hoff is Darius’s love child. There was this whole time travel thing, it was very X-Men. By the way I’m here to bite you.
Alex kills the vampire with Calvin’s help. Then a gigantic demon hand punches her in the head. She takes massive damage and falls. The demon kicks a gravestone at Calvin who dives out of the way. The demon then turns to walk away and Calvin sees a weird symbol drawn on the back of it’s leg. Alex has been knocked slightly senseless so Calvin scoops her up in his arms to carry her back to the car. It’s dark so he doesn’t see a body on the ground until he has tripped over it, dropping Alex in the process. It’s Jesse from school.
Calvin puts Alex in the car and then calls Darius to tell him what’s happened.
Darius: Is there a way of tracking the demon?
Calvin: Alex is pretty hurt but I could leave her in the car and go after it.
Darius: no, no. You should bring her back here.
Calvin does a bit of first aid on her, but there’s not much to do that would help. He drives them back to Darius’s.
Megan pulls the power cable out of the computer, which keeps running for ten seconds before it powers down.
Calvin draws the symbol for the others (I rolled a 1, which works for Calvin’s lack of drawing talent.) it looks like a mushroom on an egg. Basically a lot of lines radiating out from a dot and circled by a lop sided oval.
Alex: That’s not right.
Calvin: I know, but I don’t have –
A: It’s not right.
C: You didn’t even see it!
Darius looks concerned as he says: the symbol is familiar. There was a dead kid?
C: yeah, I told you on the phone. (Realises that he can’t fault Darius for anything…) I must’ve mumbled.
Brett, Megan, Darius and Alex all at the same time say: You do do that.
Calvin hangs his head: I know.
Brett: Darius is the only kid of your generation I’ve known who doesn’t mumble.
Alex asks if she can stay over at Darius’s while she recovers. He says of course she can. He turns to Megan and tells her she shouldn’t be alone, she looks very hopeful. He tells her to go home to her mother and he’ll send some police to watch the house. Calvin gives her a lift home and they are both silent. When he pulls in there’s a UPS van outside, just pulling away. Calvin asks her if she wants him to wait while she finds out what it is, but she waves him away. In her bedroom she discovers that her computer is gone and there’s just a printed out sheet on her night table that reads “I must protect you from your own bad decisions.”
Alex knocks on Darius’s door just after the others have left. He has changed into a smoking jacket.
Alex: Do you remember about Ash? That vampire that Megan was dating to try and forget about you.
Alex: Calvin mentioned the other day that he offered to make Calvin a vampire. Since then I’ve been struggling with all this anger…
Darius: Do why do you think he might have been thinking about that?
A: He did mention that he felt inferior to you. Emasculated.
D: That’s terrible. I feel guilty now.
A: I guess it’s just – he said it was stupid. He’s not going to do it. I didn’t know how to react. I mean, he’d be a vampire with no soul. You’d have to stake him.
D: Yeah, that would be terrible.
A: And the way Ash and Yuki were just using Megan to get to you…The last few days I’ve just not known what to do. Calvin’s not half the man you are.
D (feeling guilty about the spell perhaps? -Ed): He’s not-
A: and he’s way taller than you. That’s not…it’s like it’s all off.
D: But people should be different.
A (dreamily): but if everyone would be like you…
D: it would be a little boring.
Darius points out that Calvin is a very internal person and he doesn’t let things out easily. He says that a calm and frank discussion between the two of them would help. He offers to mediate if she wants him too.
D: I hate to see you two strained.
A: I guess it’s just made me doubt – (she seems inclined to continue but Darius cuts in)
D: I wonder what I can do for Megan.
A: Okay, I’d better get to bed. Thank you so much Darius. (They hug, she holds on a little too long, then hovers.)
Brett walks in: Excuse me sir, I’ve got the documents.
Alex flinches away, as if they had been caught doing something more. She leaves, quickly.
Brett: I’m sorry to interrupt.
D: No, she was just saying goodnight.
B: is everything all right? How do you deal with all this unwanted attention?
D: it’s not all unwanted.
B: Of course, but the uh, more personal attentions you receive.
D: Ah. I have my ways.
Brett goes to Alex’s room and knocks on the door. She answers in a flimsy nighty.
B: I wondered if you have a moment to talk?
Ash texts Megan: We need to talk.
Megan replies: call me.
Ash calls Megan:
Megan: You called. I didn’t think you’d call.
She breaks down, explaining all the things that had gone wrong, he reassures her. He talked about how he fights ‘bad’ vampires and wants to be ‘good’. She likes hearing that. She tells him to ring Darius for advice on how to get his soul back.
Ash then calls Darius’s number and gets Brett. He offers to take Ash’s details and pass them onto Darius. Ash isn’t happy with this, insisting that Brett pass the phone on so he can speak with Darius. Brett says that since Darius has retired for the night he can only be bothered in matters of National emergency.
Ash: Let’s just say this is a National emergency.
B: I know the names of the people who can declare a National emergency and you’re not on that list.
Ash swears for a while, promising to get Brett fired. Alex has realised who is on the phone and tells Brett to hang up, saying he’s a crazed vampire.
B: Is it true that you’re a vampire?
Alex shouts into the phone telling him that if he comes back she’ll kill him. It’s quite bad ass.
Brett schools Ash on how Darius needs his sleep. Ash tells Brett he will look back on this moment as the one where he lost his job and hangs up.
Ash then calls Calvin.
Calvin: what? I’m driving.
Ash: Pull over.
Calvin: what’s up?
Ash: You know that research you were doing?
A: About vampires.
C: I haven’t been doing that lately, I’ve been helping Darius out with some other stuff.
A:…you sound weird.
C: I guess I didn’t expect you to call.
Ash asks Calvin if he thinks Darius can help with his problem. Calvin asks what problem and Ash says he doesn’t want to be ‘like this’ anymore. Calvin says he’ll ask Darius if he’ll help. Ash is frustrated and hangs up.
Ash calls Megan again, asking what was wrong with everyone.
Megan cries some, overwhelmed. Ash asks if Calvin is on drugs and tells Megan that Alex threatened to kill him. He says that Darius needs a new receptionist.
Megan offers to get him the books about vampires from Darius’s library, which makes him happier. He tells her that everything will be all right and he’ll take care of her.
Brett and Alex practice fighting in one of Darius’s workout rooms, she has changed, obviously. She is fas and strong but he has a surprisingly good defence. His singlet reveals an army rangers tattoo.
Brett: I don’t really know how to say this, since it’s going to hurt. But I’m very worried about the effect you and the others are having on Darius. Darius could achieve so much more if you three weren’t holding him back.
Alex: You’re right. Darius is amazing. We do drag him down. Maybe he’ll be better off without us. I’ll talk to Megan and Calvin.
B: I feel awful but it’s for the best. Because he cares about you. I had to deflect a call from the Prime Minister of Israel because he wanted to talk to you. Think about that for a moment. He’d never say this because he puts you first.
Alex, humbled, agrees again and offers to leave Darius’s house immediately.
B: You don’t have to leave tonight. It’s late. I’m not a monster. I just want you to take from this that you have to stop bothering him with your difficulties. You know, learn to deal with them yourselves.
A: I guess it’s like that proverb: teach a man to fish…
She agrees to leave first thing so as to not bother Darius in the morning.
Megan talks to her mother, who is sobbing disconsolately. Megan puts her to bed and strokes her hair. In the darkness the clam bed is mildly luminescent.
On Friday morning the news has a few interesting stories: in the night a security vehicle was stopped. The guard was hauled out the window and killed. The authorities are tentatively blaming a bear. Also there were 4 suicides on Thursday night. Brett gets details on the suicides: one left a note, saying he was so upset about his wife leaving him two years earlier. One was a teen who was upset he’d never got the toy train he wanted, his parents didn’t understand him. One person doused themselves with petrol and set themselves alight, apparently because of the state of the world and the last one got a C on a test and jumped off a school building.
At school Calvin is waiting outside for Darius again, wearing the same black outfit, even though it’s dirty from the cemetery and quite crumpled. No tie, though and he’s wearing the suspenders hanging down. He jumps up when Darius arrives.
Calvin: So I saw in the news another guy was killed and they’re saying it was a bear but I think we have to check it out.
Darius: Yeah there’s something familiar about it.
D: We should investigate the graveyard. I’ve already sent Brett there.
Alex cycles up to the cemetery to check out the scene of last night’s demon attack and finds Brett waiting at the gates. She leads him in and they find that Jesse’s body is still there, covered in a light frost. Darius and Calvin arrive in companionable silence. Calvin points out the way the demon went and Darius checks the tracks. He works out that it’s about 9 feet tall and that it leaped over the cemetery wall with Jesse’s body. It threw Jesse’s body about 10 feet when it was interrupted. The gravestone it aimed at Calvin traveled 15 feet. Its heading North West, the guard that was killed was in a straight line between the cemetery and Darius’s house.
The gang heads into town to look around where the guard was killed. In between there and Darius’s house is an entrance to the sewer system. They talk about how it’s probably hiding out down there and they should check it out. Brett pulls out a motion sensor which will help.
Darius leads them through the storm drains and sewers. After a while they come to a huge chamber where four water sources are all emptying. The tracks he was following are lost. Darius’s shirt gets wet though, for the fan service.
D: There’s no point sticking around here.
A: Yeah, we wouldn’t want you to catch a chill.
While talking about possible leads Calvin and Alex realise they should call Honest Sam. There is some confusion about why Darius wasn’t there when they met him but it was because he was engaged in peace talks in the middle east.
Calvin calls Honest Sam: This is Calvin. I don’t think you’ll remember me, but we ran you off the road one time.
Sam: Yeah I remember.
Calvin describes the demon briefly and asks if Sam has seen anything. Sam reminds him that it will cost them.
Sam: Since you’re friends and all…$200 now and an extra 3 if I find out anything else.
Calvin goes to take money out of an ATM but remembers he’s broke. He asks Darius for cash, which Darius tells Brett to give him. Alex and Calvin go to the pawn shop in town Sam named as the drop off point and leave the money with Ned.
There’s some school time, then Calvin gets a call from Sam.
Sam: I spoke to an oracle. Your demon, would you agree that it looks unfinished? Like meat that’s been eaten by tadpoles?
Sam explains that it’s not a true demon, it’s a magical construct Basically a Jekyl and Hyde deal where someone has done a spell to cause something wonderful and the side effect is creating something bad. It’s witchcraft that created this thing. The symbol is the link – whatever cast the spell will have the symbol on them too. It’s a magical counterbalance, something really nasty to weigh up for something really pleasant. The other thing is that it’s a very new thing. None of the demons in town had seen it, which means it’s only been in existence a couple of days, tops.
Alex and Calvin wonder what the pleasant thing could be. Megan getting all that money? Brett being more than normal for a humanly strong? They look for Darius to catch him up on what they learned.
Alex: Maybe we shouldn’t bother him with our problems.
Calvin: What do you mean? He’ll want to know.
Calvin tries to explain to Darius and Brett what’s happening but it comes out less clear. Brett doesn’t seem to believe them, says that it’s just conjecture.
Calvin: well, that’s our lead.
B: I think this might be an unfortunate side effect. (Turns to Darius) When you cast that spell…
Darius shakes his head and gestures for Brett to stop talking.
B: …that gave Alex her powers back. That was a good thing and maybe it had a down side.
A: I will give up my slayer powers if I have to. If it will help.
They all agree that they have to get to the bottom of this.
Alex: But we have to look at the bigger picture. The Spring Fling is tomorrow.
Calvin: But…people are dying…
Previously on Fall season two…
Episode 1: Frenemies part 1.
Episode 2: Troubled waters.
Episode 3: Frenemies part 2.
Episode 4: Ex-communicatin’.
Episode 5: The Agony of Life and Death.
Episode 6: Showing Poor Spirit.
Episode 7: Who You Gonna Call?
Episode 8: Parlour Games.
Episode 9: Dig your wishing well.
Episode 10: Spelled differently.