I saw the ballet of Sleeping Beauty last night with two lovely ladies, Sam and Ellen. Here I shall retell the story for you so you can enjoy it as much as I did.
Once upon a time there was a King whose wife was having a baby. His chamberlain and the midwife were both furry cat people but no one seemed to mind. The king reminded the cat chamberlain to invite fairies. The baby was born and there was a huge welcome the princess party. The fairies arrived and there was a pink one, a blue one, a green one and a yellow one. They had colour coded fairy boyfriends which was good for them, and there was a kind of queen, more important purple fairy who everyone loved most. Four princes from other lands were shown the baby and everyone danced in happiness.
Then the bad fairy arrived and was angry. The king blamed the cat chamberlain for not inviting her and the goblins carried him around. She tortured him by pulling some of his fur off and then cursed the baby. The fairies went and got magical purple fairy and she diffused the killing curse into a sleeping one and did a kind of awesome dance with the bad fairy.
The cat chamberlain redeemed himself by removing all the spindles, pointy swords and needles from the kingdom and burning them. Then it was later on and the princess had grown up. The gardeners and peasant girls danced about and decorated the kingdom. The princes were all grown up and during her birthday celebration the king told Aurora that she must choose one of them. She compared herself to each of them, checking for a good size match. They each gave her a rose and she immediately gave them to the white cat midwife to take away. The bad fairy appeared and gave Aurora a black rose which she was very excited about, up until she pricked her finger on a thorn. She passed out and everyone panicked. The purple fairy came to make everyone else fall asleep and she made very pretty thorns grow over everything.
~ end of act one
Two sexy guys dance about in the forest and argue about which way to go. The emo prince joined him and they enjoyed the gay times in the forest with the wine for a bit. Then the prince sat down and moped about how bored with life he was while the other two mocked some kind of royal assistant. They left the price alone to go hunting and he got lost in the forest. He watched a lot of forest nymphs dance about before he met the purple fairy.
She asked if he was sad and he admitted he was because he had no one to love. She gave him a vision dream of Aurora and he fell in love with her just like that. The nymphs all thought this was good, but didn’t want him to touch her. The purple fairy gave him a magic sword and he advanced on the castle.
The bad fairy was apparently spending all of her time sitting next to Aurora now, which doesn’t seem like much fun but there you have it. The goblins warned her that the emo prince was approaching and he went to meet him, taunting him before she became AN AMAZING AND AWESOME BLACK DRAGON WITH MASSIVE WINGS AND GLOWING RED EYES THAT BREATHED SMOKE!!!! The prince tried to fight the dragon but it was huge and scary and a goblin knocked his sword away and he fell down oh noes but then he got the sword back and stabbed the dragon and it was awesome.
He climbed the stairs to wake up Aurora and when shaking her by the shoulders didn’t work he kissed her and she woke up. Her parents woke up too and the prince immediately asked if he could marry her and Aurora said ‘please’ and they said he could.
Then there was a sequence of all the random characters dancing and dancing and dancing at Aurora’s wedding. The two cats danced together and got quite randy. There were bluebirds and lots of attendants. The bride and groom had a celebration dance. It was lovely.
~ The end.