Fall actual play – 305 “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot”

Picking up immediately frome where the previous ep left out. Darius feels Calvin as he wakes up, checking inexpertly for injuries. Megan slaps Calvin for no apparent reason. (Audience can see that Calvin has a bleeding wound in the leg.)
Megan: Go fix Alex!
Darius forces Calvin into a sitting position, and he waves them both off and goes over to first aid Alex. He can’t do much, she’s pretty badly hurt. Darius scoops her up into his arms to carry her back to the car.

Calvin: You didn’t have to slap me by the way.
Megan: No. I probably didn’t.

Cut to Cassie on a greyhound bus, which stops suddenly, apparently hitting something. Cassie gets out when the bus driver does to investigate. There’s a patch of blood on the ground, and bits of fur stuck in the grille at the front of the bus. There’s a big dent in the bus and Cassie pockets a blood soaked feather.

Back in the forest, Calvin drives the gang to Alex’s house at her insistence. Darius carries her to the door and rings the bell. Jared answers and freaks out. Megan trails behind.
Alex: (blearily) Go to your room, I’m fine.
Alex’s Dad appears, takes in the situation: Kitchen! Now!
Darius: She’s the one bleeding, I’m taking orders from her! (Looks at her furious father) Or him!
Alex’s Dad: What did it?
Darius: I dunno!

Alex’s Dad takes over the care of her, and tells Jared firmly that he must got to his room and they will explain later. Jared storms upstairs and slams his door.

Darius looks at Megan and then around the room.
D: Where’s Calvin?
Megan: I dunno. Maybe he’s in the car?

Darius strides out to find Calvin in his car, both arms folded on the steering wheel and his head resting on his arms.
D: Come inside.
C: Why?
D: because it’s freezing out.
C: …
D: Are you feeling okay?
C: No.
D (peers in at him,)
C: It’s just my head. I’m fine.

Megan comes out to see what’s happening and Darius looks at her over the roof of Kermit.
D: Calvin’s all…woo woo…bleurgh
C: I am not!
Darius opens the door and pushes Calvin over to the passenger side of the front seat, despite his loud protestations. They then drive to the hospital to get Calvin checked out. Despite the terrible lies Darius tries to spin they try to call the cops. Luckily Marti appears and goes all law-school on their asses.

Marti: I’m sorry, is my client under arrest?

Cassie calls Calvin and it’s missed, but Mason notices the missed call and hands the phone to a slightly doped up Calvin.
Calvin: Hey! Cass where are you?
Cassie: I’m at the house, where are you?
Calvin: Hospital! it’s great you’re back. That’s awesome.

Cassie, confused, hangs up and heads into the hospital.

Mason and Calvin are left in the rather nice private room Calvin’s been set up in.
Mason: So, what happened to you?
Calvin: Gang fight.
M: Righteous.
C: (Surprised that worked.)

Cassie arrives and and hovers in the doorway, unsure of what to do.
Cass: What happened? Where are the others?
Calvin: Alex is at home, with the bleeding. Megan, I don’t know. Darius is here…somewhere. Not here. (he looks around.)
Mason: What Alex got hurt?
Darius comes back, eyes Cassie suspiciously: You okay?
Calvin waves for Cassie to come closer: Yeah. I’m awesome. Cassie’s back!
D: Hmmm. She’d better be leaving you alone.
Calvin: No! No. Noooooo.
Calvin gestures for Cassie to come closer and they have an enthusiastic reunion.

Mason is freaking out about the Alex thing so Calvin looks him in the eye.
Calvin: It wasn’t a gang fight. It’s more like vampires. I haven’t told you in all this time but I’m telling you now. It’s not vampires tonight. It’s a demon.
Mason looks at Calvin for a moment in disbelief and then laughs it off. Mason: Okay man, you need rest.
Mason leaves. Calvin is kept in hospital overnight, Cassie stays in the room with him, sleeping in a chair.

The next morning. Back at the Pederson’s Jared is being told that Alex took some pills she shouldn’t have. Alex has an argument with her father about whether that’s a better thing for Jared to believe, she wants him to know the truth. Her father is worried about the danger to him.
Alex’s Dad: You may be the slayer, but I’m the Father. He does not get told.
Alex: Whatever. I need a shower. I have dried blood all over me.

In the hospital room Cassie remembers that something weird happened and scrabbles in her pocket for the weird feather.
Cass: Bus…hit…moose…feather.
Calvin: Your bus hit a moose feather?
Seeing that there’s something weird about the apparently giant owl feather Calvin suggests Cassie call Darius to check it out. Darius is a bit abrupt with Cassie and she ends up handing the phone to Calvin.
Cass: he yelled at me.
Calvin: Did you yell at her?
D: I didn’t yell at her.
Calvin: It’s not okay.
After a quick conversation they agree to meet up at Darius’s.

Megan calls Darius and asks about Calvin.
D: He seemed fine last night, if a bit loopy. And being practically assaulted by Cassie.
Megan talks to Alex about Cassie being back and they go to Darius’s.

Darius: I had to shower like three times to get all your blood out from under my fingernails. You probably didn’t need to know that.
Calvin and Cassie arrive and they examine the blood caught on the feather. There’s some confusion over reports of a dead dog and research turns up the most likely suspect is an owlbear. They speculate that it might have been Darius doing an alter reality spell.
Megan: Do you ever think about owlbears? When was the last time you thought about an owlbear?

Megan and Darius reluctantly explain about D&D and what roleplaying is, cue lots of hilarious meta conversation about the kinds of people who roleplay.
Alex: How does Dungeons and Dragons work?

Calvin: So, you put on costumes and like, run around and stuff?
Megan: No! That would be lame!

Darius and Alex research demons, Calvin goes to see Nebby. Cassie heads out to the backyard and Alex goes to talk to her.
Cass: I don’t like being ignored.
Alex: I don’t really feel like I’m in a position to judge. So, are you back for a while?
Cass: Yeah. You okay with that?
A: Yeah. Well, you should probably tell him that. It was a bit harsh, you taking off as well.
They talk a while longer about jealousy, etc.
A: I made my bed.
Cass: Well, I didn’t help, but…yeah you did.
A: He’s a big boy. If he’s decided to move on then I can’t do anything about it.
They hug. Alex promises she won’t play any games, won’t try to break up Cassie and Calvin.

Calvin comes out to check on Cass and sees them hugging. They turn to look at him at exactly the same time, then Alex makes excuses and leaves. Cassie pulls Calvin down beside her.
Cass: I’m staying for a while.
Calvin: Good
Cass: I’m sorry I left.
Calvin: Well. You came back.
Cass (relieved): She’s not going to get in between us.
Calvin: Of course she’s not.

Back inside they talk about how to track the thing.
Calvin: That spell you did yesterday, we’ve got a bit of the monster. You do that spell with the bit and make your boyfriend appear.
There’s a bit of an argument on whether they should be chasing up where the owlbear is or who summoned it. Darius goes a locator spell and they track it into the woods from where it was hit by the bus just out of town. As they track through the snow Darius talks about D&D. The tracks lead into a cavern where they find a gelatinous cube, with the hard beak of an owlbear suspended in it. Everyone exclaims over how ridiculous it is.

They move further into the tunnels and find a floating eyeball. Darius yells for them to run but Calvin brings his revolver to bear and shoots at it. Caught in the Beholder’s stare he goes into slow motion. Cassie tries to lift him up and get him out of the way but in the gaze of the Beholder she doesn’t have super powers. He hauls him aside and Alex helps. Once they’re out of the range of its gaze things go back to normal.
Alex: At least D&D monsters don’t go fast.
Calvin: That one went really fast.

They look back but both monsters are behind them, the only thing to do is go deeper into the dungeon cave.

Previously on Fall Season Three
Episode one: I Can’t Believe you made me Cyclops.
Episode two: Christmas Wonderland.
Episode three: Love and Other Calamities.
Episode four: Whatever will the Neighbours Thinks?


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