In the massive cavern under the ground, Darius (wizard), Alex and Cassie (Paladins), Calvin (rogue) and Mega (undecided) come into a wide, open cave space. There are stalactites all over the ceiling and Darius mentions that there are D&D monsters who mimic them so watch out.
Cassie punches Calvin in the arm: Look! Look!
Calvin: Ow! Ow!
He follows her pointing and sees that one of the stalactites is moving but he shoots the wrong one (bad roll), it drops on him but be dodges nimble out of the way (excellent roll).
Alex kicks the monster a couple of times and destroys it. There’s a statue at the end of the cavern with a huge ruby embedded in it. Cassie wants to take it, but Calvin cautions her not to, since there could be a trap or something attached to it.
They find another tunnel and head down it, finding some old rusted metal bars blocking their way. Alex breaks these open and they hear a sound from further in that sounds like music. Following the sound they find a kind of medieval alchemicy lab, with a huge troll thing in an impressive helmet working away. Darius calls out, greeting him, and he turns and looks at them. “Interlopers, you will die!” He starts moving to attack them. Calvin raises his shotgun and blasts at the troll but the shot seems to bounce off. Cassie and Alex quickly make a plan and attack, Alex going left, jumps up onto a table and kicks the troll in the head. Cassie goes right, stabs him in the leg with her knife. Blood sprays out but the troll keeps moving.
Cassie: why is it still standing? There’s two slayers in the room!
Darius: You have to take its hit points down to zero!
Calvin blasts it again with his shotgun, which takes the hit points down to zero, meaning Calvin gets all the XP because he’s a big old kill steal. Oh yeah. Darius takes the impressive looking helmet and tries it on. Once it’s on his face is wreathed in shadows and his eyes glow red.
Megan: Take it off! TAKE IT OFF!
Darius: Awesome, I can see in the dark!
Alex notices a barred window in the back of the lab and goes to look through it. There’s a young blond, crew cutted, clean shaven young man in a small cell, he’s asleep on the bed.
Alex: You okay?
Man: I don’t know.
A: Who are you?
Man: I’m Private Jenkins.
A: what’s your first name?
Jenkins: That’s classified.
A: Okay, then, I’m gonna open the door now Classified Jenkins.
Once out of the cell, Jenkins freaks out at the body of the troll on the ground. There’s some recognition there.
Jenkins: I don’t know anyone like this, but, he looks kind of like Barry, my old DM.
Calvin has been playing with a magical harp in the corner, when he pokes it a new song starts playing. When it’s been a while, between songs it goes to a sort of holding pattern of a regular thumping noise. The gang leaves the cavern, bringing Jenkins with them, but as soon as they get out into the open air Jenkins has vanished. In the confusion they hear a strange noise, and see a huge, bat like wing over a the next hill. There is molten lava flowing down the hill.
Darius: It’s a dragon! Run. No seriously. Run!
Calvin: won’t it just eat people off the street?
They fall back to the car.
Calvin: If there’s ever a time to use grenades…
But they fall back to the car and agree to drive away and figure out what to do first.
Megan tracks down the DM using old school records and the AI, and gives him a call as Calvin drives them all into town.
Cassie gets Megan to ask Barry what the Ruby in the cavern was.
Barry: That was just treasure I threw in there.
Cassie: I knew could have had it!
Calvin: we didn’t know.
Cassie and Alex talk about how they could probably fight the dragon, they ask Calvin to stop the car. When he asks why he says no, that they can’t, that they should stay in the car. He pulls up outside the army surplus store and tells Alex to stay in the car. Cassie hits him.
Calvin: Ow. Sorry, Alex. I forgot. Uh. Alex, do whatever you want to do.
Inside the shop Calvin buys a mortar.
Bill: What are you using this for? Bears?
Calvin: Yeah. Bears.
Cass: Really big bears.
Cass, when Bill is looking away, carries the mortar out to the car.
Bill: That girl’s got some muscles on her.
The gang all researches and eats burgers. They make jokes about Darius being a virgin they could use as bait for the dragon.
Darius: Well, if you think it will work Megan?
They head back to the place they saw the dragon with a half baked plan to lure the dragon out with Darius and then fire the mortar at it. They see a campervan stopped in the road, and the road itself turns from tarmac to cobbles. They look past it and see the snow doesn’t cover an apparent medieval village which has somehow sprung up. They pile out of the car and wander in, seeing a family of bewildered tourists taking photos of the fountain. There are elves, dwarves and halflings in the street. Alex is sulking and strides ahead.
Darius: Why is Alex pissed off?
Megan: What do you know about the mind control?
Alex goes to talk to the tourists and convinces them that it’s a theme park and then goes into the tavern. Cassie mugs a halfling, shaking him upside down so that his gold coins fall out. Once they have money they all go in and order the strongest liquor possible. The barkeep hands them some tiny bottles of dwarven spirits. It affects them all very quickly.
Darius approaches a wizard and tries to talk to him about magic. The wizard is apparently very well known but turns out to be only an expert on toadstools.
Alex gets up on a table and addresses the entire bar.
Alex: WHO WANTS TO FIGHT A DRAGON? NO? WELL YOU’RE ALLL PUSSIEES!!!
Darius goes to try and get her down off the table and she punches him, knocking him out and triggering a brawl over the whole tavern. The slayers tussle for a bit, heading out the door. Calvin first aids Darius, who wakes up complaining about his head. Cassie, cheerful, heads off to a medieval shop and buys some steampunk-ish clothing. Alex slumps, miserable, outside the bar. Megan hovers.
Cassie mugs another halfling, and is dubbed Cassie Halflingsbane. She is pursued by the town guard and allows them to catch up, curious to see what happens. Calvin comes out to look for her in time to see the guards pull out heavy iron manacles.
Calvin: No, no, you can’t arrest her!
Megan and Calvin appeal to the guards and they are all led to the town magistrate’s building.
Darius finds Alex crying against the wall.
Darius: Oh Alex, don’t cry! I forgive you for hitting him.
Alex: you shouldn’t have tackled me. I always do the wrong thing! Maybe if I hadn’t lashed out maybe Calvin would still be mine!
Alex launches at Darius and clings to him, sobbing.
In the magistrates office Megan tries to make a case but is less the confident.
Cassie tackles Megan to keep her from talking.
Calvin, turns to the magistrate: She’s a Princess from another land and she doesn’t understand your customs. So she can’t be held accountable for her actions.
Magistrate: … all right.
Darius brings Alex to meet the others and she snaps out of her drunken melancholia, noticing that there’s something wrong with the stars. Like a seam in the sky where the regular stars change to something unfamiliar. Calvin asks the magistrate about dragons, fishing for information and a bard is recommended. Taking Cassie by the wrist, Calvin tugs her back to the tavern to talk to the hot bard.
The hot bard knows a few songs about dragons, but it’s always about seventh sons of seventh songs, mystical legendary heroes who defeat them. Calvin asks if there are any stories ordinary people besting the dragon and she says that generally those characters get eaten.
Bard: You’re quite an attractive young man, I wouldn’t want to see you eaten by a dragon.
Calvin: Me either.
They all settle down to watch the bard perform and Calvin hears her lyre say “Dr Mercer to ward 5”. Cassie had already had the theory that it was something to do with someone in a coma, back when the harp made weird noises, and the gang pack up to head back into Fall River. On the road Cassie’s new clothes vanish, luckily she has another set in the car. Darius insists on driving because Calvin is too drunk, so he’s wedged in the back with Alex and Cassie.
At the hospital they encounter Tiffany, who Calvin sweet talks while he steals a swipe card from her. Their excuse for being there is that Darius got knocked out (by Alex).
Tiffany: Has he been displaying any erratic behaviour?
Calvin: It’s hard to say.
While Darius is looked at my a doctor the rest of the gang uses the swipe card to explore the hospital, making their way down to Ward 5, which is a newly converted area next to the basement. Down in the basement they find a concreted over door to the stairs leading down and high tech security on the elevator, including a face scan and voice recognition. Calvin tries to fake it but the elevator says it’s failed and that security procedures will be carried out.
Alex, Cassie, Megan and Calvin fall back into the hospital proper, unable to access the Ward with Jenkins in it.
Previously on Fall Season Three
Episode one: I Can’t Believe you made me Cyclops.
Episode two: Christmas Wonderland.
Episode three: Love and Other Calamities.
Episode four: Whatever will the Neighbours Think?
Episode Five: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot