This too shall pass (into love)

A lot of people I know have been having a bit of a rough time. May (and some months before it) hasn’t been the kindest, and I’ve been activating a few coping methods for myself, some of which I had never used before and some which I hadn’t used for a very long time. Then last night I wrote this thing which… I think needs to be shared. I’ve edited it some to make it less Jenni centric.

This thing that is getting you down, aggravating you, irritating you? No matter what, or how it happens, the days that you have to endure it are numbered. They will run out and something new will happen, it will pass on or cease to be such a bother o you. It’s hard to remember sometimes but it’s true. This too shall pass.

Your loneliness too, sleeping alone and uncuddled, this will pass away and you will have peace. At some point, you will find someone, or someone will find you, or cross over the world to get to you and you will have them to hold, kiss, snuggle. The time is slipping away, they are getting closer.

remember to breathe

remember to breathe

Imagine, if you can, that the universe (or God, or whatever you happen to believe in) loves you. Imagine the universe will give you the best things you can, the things you most want if you trust in it. I can trust that.

Framing your interactions with people with love is one of the ways I can help the universe bring me what I need. It’s pretty easy, you just think to yourself ‘if I was showing this person my love, what would I do?’ and then you do it.

Framing things this way makes me patient, and forces me to be understanding to the other person. By doing this I can be successful, interesting and loved in return because the more love you send out the more you get back. I know it may sound kooky/new agey/silly but we’re all human beings and we all have the same basic needs. The basic desires to love and be understood.

It’s easy to snap at people, or be negative, or focus in on your own issues, your own suffering, but that is never fulfilling.

Think instead of the things you most want and trust in the universe to bring them to you. Do the best you can in the mean time.

I like to remember as well that I am surrounded by love and I find that the easiest way to remember that is to live it. Send out, give your love, react with love and act wit love.

Things I Love Thursday

It’s cold. And I don’t like the cold. But it does make me very happy and thankful for the following: my doc martin’s boots, scarves, fingerless gloves, heaters, thick socks, wooly hats and coats.

Brilliant new music:

The still cold, sunny days do make Wellington look pretty. I’ll give it that.

Honourable Mentions: My Jess, always, Never Mind the Buzzcocks, finding The Young Riders online and loving it, laughter, finishing the Lego Batcave, embroidery and patchwork, eating M&Ms, laughing at things and cuddling up in bed with my electric blanket on, silliness and catching up with people I don’t see much.

Alt J ~ Breezeblocks
Not just a brilliant song but a brilliant video.

Sunday Crafting

This week I’ve been doing embroidery… I had a couple of ideas off pinterest and they were easy enough to do myself.

Here’s my new favourite thing:

jenni needlepoint

and then I did this one:

jennitalula needlepoint

(Which… you need to see Empire Records to be able to understand it I think.)

and I have also done some more work on hand quilting the double wedding ring quilt. I figured out a way to show you my progress, kind of, which is to photograph the underside of the quilt, you can see the white thread for the bits I’ve done.

jennitalula quilting

So well, scale’s not that good, but I’ve done a section from the middle of the quilt.

Things I Love Thursday

two things kenneth

I have been working on framing my reactions to things with love… it sounds kooky, but it’s actually a really calming, happy way to look at the world.

Lego Batcave. I am really happy with this purchase. I’ve spent three happy bits of an evening to construct the thing bit by bit. I am delighted by each new thing I put together, the minifigures are adorable and the photos I’ve taken off the progress have been uploaded to facebook for people to follow along.

jennitalula lego batcave

Post from Giffy, fabric from Ikea and marshmallow chicks and eggs. I have some big plans for patchwork over the weekend 🙂

Vines! They’re like tiny comedy sketches, micro fiction videos for social media… and when they’re good, they’re really good! Some examples: When you can’t get phone service,Camp like a pro, Ultimate babysitter, Don’t mess with this guy.

Being brave, taking risks, putting myself (and my work) forward. It’s hard, and it freaks me out, but you can’t get the benefits without doing so. This week I posted the first three chapters of Rain to a publisher. And some other life changes are hopefully on the way.

Honourable Mentions: Chorewars, heaters, cute outfits, getting the hang of sourcing TV, pretty music, making something for someone which they enjoy, chocolate, roleplaying an angel, Monsterhearts, over 20 likes on a facebook picture and inadvertently starting a facebook profile photo trend.

This cover of 99 Problems from Fright Night is awesome…

Sunday Crafting

I spent evenings this week cross stitching a bulbasaur from this pattern

I forgot to take a proper picture of it, but Nick was very pleased.

jennitalula gaston

I have also been doing work on my cross stitch taco, and hand quilting the double wedding ring.

I had a pretty rainbow colours jelly roll delivered to me this week, and I have my heart set on making this. Yesterday I washed my white fabric in preparation, and today I pulled apart the roll and paired up some fabrics and pinned them together. I lost motivation by the time I got them to the sewing machine.

So I curled up on my chair and started hand quilting the double wedding ring, because it’s easy and I’m sleepy.

Things I Love Thursday

Can’t Stop ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers

Can’t stop the spirits when they need you, this life is more than just a read through.

This blog post kind of totally actually yeah it really did blow my mind.

Treating myself. I bought myself a Lego Batcave. Because why the fuck not? I wanted a treat 🙂

Chore Wars is a website where you can create a character sheet, form an adventuring party with your housemates and then do chores for XP and Treasure. It’s awesome, and me and Ellen have already been motivated to do housework based on the desire to get XP. And you can add in your own chores, and one off tasks as quests. Brilliant!

Crafting is satisfying, fun and creative. I’ve been doing cross stitch and it’s so much fun to see the picture come together. Plus playing with colours is just fun for me.

Honourable Mentions: My Jess, sweaters, creme brulee, laughing, The Quotable Jenni, the Lovely Ellen, learning new things, new opportunities, sharing happiness and sleeping deeply.

Be kind to yourself

I think, every now and then, we need to be reminded that we have to be kind to ourselves. I’m not claiming this will solve all your problems, but it’s easy to get bogged down in day to day living, in feeling tired and sick, in feeling like it’s all the same day in, day out.

I know I feel like that sometimes, and that’s when I have this kind of revelation that actually, if I let go of those feelings (as best I can) and focus on doing kind things for me, then I can perk up again.

What are you denying yourself?

Sometimes I’ll think… I want chocolate, I have some over there… but it’s too far away and I can’t be bothered moving. Or, even worse, I don’t deserve that chocolate, I shouldn’t have any now.

This is kind of… really stupid thinking. If I want chocolate, why the Hell shouldn’t I have some chocolate?

Is there something that you want, that you could have if you gave yourself permission to? Why don’t you do that? Just, give yourself permission and enjoy that thing that you want?

It could be as simple as taking a bath, buying a magazine, going to a movie or playing a video game that you know you have fun with.

Deep down, what are your reasons for denying it? In my case, I have issues with permission, and being allowed things. My default state of mind is don’t touch! Don’t open that! You’re not allowed! Stemming from things I was told as a child, and also more recently.

Well, I’m calling bullshit on that. If I want that packet of mallowpuffs, I’m damn well buying it! Then I’m going to open them and eat them whenever I want to.

And that feels good to me.

Maybe it will feel good to you.

(I think this is part of a series, just warning you.)

Sunday Crafting

More cross stitch food. I guess this is my thing now?

jennitalula steak

So I finished my steak dinner cross stitch, and put it into a wee frame from Trash Palace.

jennitalula steak

The good thing is that I have another frame exactly the same which I can use for another food cross stitch.

I have already got this far on my taco…

jennitalula taco

After the taco I’ve run out of ms paint pictures of food, so I should probably… move on to something else, or maybe draw some more food which I can then turn into food cross stitches. What do you think?

Things I Love Thursday

Bircher muesli for breakfast. It’s like… it calms me down. It’s a really good start to my day because it’s filling and delicious and my body knows it’s good food so I feel healthy and light and yeah, calm.

Roleplaying Look, don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s really satisfying to kill your friends. On Tuesday we played the second half of our In a Wicked Archipeligo game and my rebellious slave got free, started a revolution and killed the blood hungry goddess (Celeste) and the priest of the other god, who had kept me enslaved (Steve). It was a good arc and the story was shaped right and damn, there was some great roleplaying in there.

The Ender’s Game movie and the controversy around Orson Scott Card is generating some interesting discourse. I am really not sure where I stand on this, because I feel like… I wouldn’t want someone judging my writing based on my personal views, but then not giving money to someone awful is pretty important too. I love the story and I am desperate to see the movie, so I’ll probably go the donation route.

Something more silly… turkeys!

Speaking of donations, I like this idea to Miss a meal in May and donate to Kaibosh instead. They do good things.

Honourable Mentions: my new Boom! sweater, crafting, videos from the video shop, having ideas for stories and getting writing done, support and love and friendship, excellent music and good things to read.

No hipster music this week because I haven’t been exploring new stuff, but this is important…

Things I Love Thursday

I have a secret. Actually I have two. One is that I’m writing again. And not just larps (although my edit and polish of Silver Kiss is done and with Bryn for formatting). I started a new project. I’m not entirely sure of the shape of it, or what it will end up as, but I’m enjoying writing it and it’s coming to me easy.

It’s a big deal for me, because I find it very hard to tap into my muse when I’m unhappy. I know I’ve had a couple of moments, the odd flash, and I shouldn’t discount the importance of writing larps, because they are impressive amounts of work and people get to live them – but in my head they’re not what I’m ‘meant’ to be doing. Writing fiction is what I’m meant to be doing 🙂 It feels right, satisfying in a way that writing other stuff doesn’t.

Inspiration for finding what you love.

Ellen and I had an excellent day out together on Saturday. We had lunch at Joe’s Garage and then spent around 2 and a half hours at Game Masters, playing various games and laughing and finding a hipster child who looked like he could have been mine. (I’ve never felt cluckier, although I did have PMS so…)

I don’t like it getting colder, I think you can prepare for a lot of me whining about being cold, but I have to say, there’s something awesome about wearing layers and my owl sweater and my hot new Capt Jack Harkness-esque coat and a hat and a scarf. I like that. Especially when it comes with a work mate telling me I look super cute in my cold weather get up.

Honourable Mentions: Fresh hot pizza, crumbed fish from the fish and chip shop, choosing movies at the video shop, Fright Night, The Fall, cough syrup, valerian root pills, getting craft done and weird ass dreams.

Matrix: retold by mom

Hipster Music slot is filled this week by The Airborne Toxic Event with All I Ever Wanted

Which reminds me, you are maybe wondering about my second secret, as mentioned above… well, I’m in love. I’m in love with a wonderful, beautiful, sweet, lovely and fun girl called Jess who happens to, unfortunately, be in another country. But that’s only for the time being and skype is an excellent way to close the distance. I am happy ❤