I’m a little obsessed with querying American agents at the moment. It’s a terrifying thing to be doing, but I feel it’s necessary so I’m doing it regardless. I can’t have my Rich and Happy life as a published author without getting published.
As you know, I sent my first one out on Tuesday. I got a rejection on Thursday, which was a little sad but to be honest, I wasn’t that sad about it.
I was entirely tempted to re-write the first chapter, because it could be more punchy and attention grabby, but I am reasonable, and I listen to the voice of reason (Steve) and I’m shopping it around a bit more before I do that. So, I read a whole bunch more advice online, found a list of other agents to try and just now I’ve send it off again. This time to someone who says they are particularly interested in in sophisticated women’s fiction, so I’m hoping it’s a good match. I send these things out with a lot of hope attached, because I know the universe wants to help me out here…
My pitch for the book is ever-changing, but the one I settled on today is, I hope, pretty good. Let’s take a wee look at it…
Shelley is a single woman with a 9-5 desk job and a superhero. Her power to see the worst possible outcome of her actions can be useful in a fight but it makes dating difficult. When Shelley and the other day-shift superheroes are called to a hostage situation, they get their big break. But how can Shelley cope with being thrust into the limelight when she can’t cook dinner without having visions of disaster? And how can she balance solving the sudden crime spree of the Recently Dead gang with dating the city’s most eligible bachelor?
You’d read that book, right? You’d pick it up at the library and take it home?
Some more awesome query letter linky because if I’m feeling the angst I’m sure there are others out there who are as well…
Query letter checklist from the wonderfully upfront and honest Janet Reid. Check out all her advicey links down the side-bar too, especially the Rules For Writers, really valuable stuff there.
Oh and the awesomely titled How Publishing Really Works has a list of agents and their blogs, which is what led me to the above…
Talula 
Good blurb, great question format (when x happens will she be able to y?).
First sentence confused me the first time I read it:
Shelley is a single woman with a 9-5 desk job and a superhero.
I read it as she’s a single woman who has a job and has a hero. I’d suggest changing it to something like:
Shelley is a single woman with a 9-5 desk job as a low-level superhero.
I’ve emailed you some suggestions, but: yes. I would read that book.
(Also, Matt has the right of it.)
Awesome work, Jenni!
Dammit, I originally had: Shelley is a single woman with a 9-5 desk job, she’s also a superhero
But Lee convinced me to change it with his crazy mind control powers. Now I’ve sent the agent a confusing first sentence!
Sounds interesting. Wishing you luck with your query.
Shelley is a single woman with a 9-5 desk job, she’s also a superhero.
I know you didn’t send this one, but technically it’s two complete sentences. You could substitute a semi-colon for the comma, or put in a full stop 🙂
More helpfully if you want an extra set of eyes I’m happy to read query letters and give you feedback :p
I was also thrown by the first sentence… that Lee and his evil mind control powers!
I do like superhero fic 🙂